Those of us who’ve had a difficult and complicated relationship with our mothers carry deep heartache. There is a wound inside that is difficult to name.
One of the best resources I know that explores this topic is Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel. This book has deeply impacted my life and the lives of my clients, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It can be difficult to read—Kelly writes powerful words that will touch your heart and soul. At the same time, it provides relief—there are words for what you have experienced, and you realize that you aren’t alone.
When you’re ready to read Mother Hunger, I encourage you to be intentional about how you engage with it. One of the most important things to remember as you read is to take care of yourself, whatever that looks like for you.
I have a few suggestions for you as you read, and if there are things that you’ve done while reading that have been helpful to you, I’d love to hear about them.
- Take your time with the book and try to stay connected to yourself as you read. At the same time, pay attention to when it feels like too much. You may only be able to read a bit at a time. It may take some trial and error to figure out what works for you.
- If it feels like too much to stay connected at first, you could try first reading intellectually before you read connected to your heart. Knowing what’s coming may help you be able to tolerate reading in a connected way. You could read the entire book that way then go back and re-read, or perhaps read a chapter or section at a time that way.
- Read with things around you that help you feel grounded and settled—with a cup of tea, in a favorite chair, outside in the fresh air, etc.
- Listen to the audiobook and read a hard copy. I don’t often suggest this for books, but I think for this one it can be helpful. Engaging with the material in different ways helps it sink in more.
- It’s important that you have people to connect with as you engage with this material. This is not a book to be read in isolation. Try to have at least one person that knows you’re reading this book and with whom you feel safe sharing what comes up for you. . One way to do this is to bookend with someone when you read. Reach out to them before you start and when you’re done. It can feel supportive, and you also have someone to connect to if difficult feelings come up.
- I encourage you to find a therapist if you don’t have one already. This book will likely bring up unhealed wounds and it’s important that you have a skilled clinician who can help you work through them.
I hope you read and/or listen to this important book. As you read, I also hope that you allow it to speak to your story and be open to what it reveals to you.
Please share this with women that you know that could benefit. There’s lasting healing available and this resource is a powerful guide on the journey of healing from the deep attachment injury that many of us carry.
Peace on the journey,